Robbie's School of Rottenness
by Agent0042
Summary: A oneoff fan episode of the show LazyTown. When Ziggy tries to help Stephanie with her homework but becomes bored, Robbie decides to create a school. Unfortunately for the kids, his school beyond boring and has only one lesson ignore Sportacus!


"Robbie's School of Rottenness"

A Fan-Written Episode

Author's Note: Though this episode bears similarity to the idea of the plot of the episode "School Scam," I came up with the idea before learning about the existence of this episode. I suppose it's just a good idea whose time eventually came --- it seems like a natural concept for the show.

(_Opening teaser. Sportacus is in his airship, reading a book. But he's not just reading. As he reads, he's also doing the splits._)

**Sportacus**: 1 2 3... As she looked into his eyes, she could tell it was true love. She sighed and he did too. 4 5 6, 7 8 9! Ah, reading and exercise! A winning combination!

Welcome to LazyTown

A place where you'll wanna stay

You'll meet Robbie with his rotten plan

And Sportacus saving the day

Stephanie is new in town

And soon she and Ziggy are friends

With Pixel, Stingy and Trixie too

They're gonna have a blast together!

Go go go get 'em LazyTown

It's the start of brand-new day

Things are upside-down here in LazyTown

Adventure's just a moment away!

"Robbie's School of Rottenness"

By **Agent0042**

(_Scene opens. Stephanie is outside, sitting on a bench. Ziggy looks over at her, very surprised, until he notices that she appears to be reading a book and has papers spread out. His expression changes to curiosity.)_

**Ziggy**: Hey, Stephanie, what ya' up to?

**Stephanie**: Homework.

**Ziggy**: Homework?! But it's the summer!

**Stephanie**: Oh, I know. But I still have to do this homework.

**Ziggy**: Why?

**Stephanie**: (_She shrugs_.) I dunno. Because the teacher says so.

(_The scene changes to Robbie, who has been spying on them from his underground lair. Robbie was on the couch, munching a piece of cake. He noisily finishes the cake and then starts ranting to himself._)

**Robbie**: (_mocking_) "Because the teacher says so." "Because the teacher says so." This is awful! This is terrible! No... wait! This is excellent! This is wonderful! This is more than I ever could have hoped for! Heh heh --- teach a man to fish and you feed him for a day --- teach those kids to be lazy and I'll have peace and quiet for a lifetime! (_chuckles meanly_) First, I'll get them all to come to my school. Then I'll teach them --- to ignore Sportacus! Nobody will talk to him and he'll get so bored that he'll leave town **_forever!!! _**It's... disguise time! (_considers a suit of armor that looks like what Captain Adelbert Steiner from Final Fantasy IX wore_) Too rusty. (_considers a lobster suit_) Too crusty. (_looks at his old Santa suit_) Ew. Too dusty. (_sees a stylish teacher's outfit_) Ah... Professor Rotten! (_He changes into the outfit._) Say hello to teacher!

(_Scene change. All of the LazyTown kids --- Ziggy, Trixie, Pixel and Stingy are now gathered around Stephanie._)

**Pixel**: You know, you could get that done a lot faster on my computer.

**Stephanie**: Oh, I know, Pixel. But it's so nice out here. The sun, the fresh air --- I think I'd rather just stay outside.

**Pixel**: Well, suit yourself. I'm gonna go play video games. (_He exits._)

**Ziggy**: I'll stay! Hey, maybe I can help! Oh, what's this?! (_He grabs a pen and tries to write something onto Stephanie's homework._)

**Stephanie**: Ziggy, no! That's my essay! Just --- just leave it alone, okay.

**Ziggy**: (_appears to be slightly hurt_)

**Stephanie**: Oh, Ziggy. Here Ziggy --- you can do this. (_She hands him a stapler and a set of papers._)

**Ziggy**: What do I do, what do I do?

**Stephanie**: I need you to take these and staple them together!

**Ziggy**: Ah, that's no fun!

**Trixie**: Hey, Stingy and I are going to go play with Pixel. You wanna come?  
**Stingy**: I am?

**Trixie**: (_gives Stingy a glare_) Yes, you are.

**Stingy**: Oh, okay.

**Trixie**: So, you comin', Ziggy?

**Ziggy**: (_resigned, but determined_) I'm gonna stay here and help Stephanie!

**Trixie**: All right, you do that, Ziggy. (_She and Stingy leave._)

(_Scene change. Robbie has been watching this whole exchange from his underground lair._)

**Robbie**: Ha ha ha! So, he wants to do schoolwork, does he? (_mockingly_) Isn't that sweet? Heh heh. I'll take him to school. Robbie is on the job!

(_He exits his underground lair, but not before hitting the top of his head because of the ridiculous hat he's wearing. He considers the hat and decides to ditch it._)

**Ziggy**: 1 2 3 staple, 4 5 6 staple (_yawn_) Stephanie?!

**Stephanie**: (_too absorbed in her schoolwork to truly pay any attention to Ziggy_) Good job, Ziggy!

**Ziggy**: Ah!

**Robbie**: Hello there, my student!

(_Ziggy jumps in surprise, but Stephanie is so immersed that she doesn't even notice this phony schoolteacher._)

**Ziggy**: Huh? What?

**Robbie**: Soooo, school is in session?

**Ziggy**: Well, kinda...

**Robbie**: Wanna come to a real school?

**Ziggy**: (_his face is transported with delight_) A real school?! Oh, can I, can I, can I?!

**Robbie**: Why, of course! And your first assignment is --- get me more children! Let's see... how about this little girl (_indicates Stephanie_) over here!? (_He raps her a couple of times on the head, but she's gone completely oblivious, having eyes only for the textbook she's reading._) Hello?! Anybody in there?!

**Ziggy**: Let me do it! Let me!

**Robbie**: Oh, all right, kid!

**Ziggy**: (_shouting_) Stephanie! Stephanie! Look at me! I'm dancing! (_He starts doing a jig. Robbie winces, but allows Ziggy to go on._)

**Stephanie**: (_something about the word "dancing" has penetrated her consciousness_) Yes, Ziggy?

**Robbie**: You get an A+!

**Stephanie**: Who's that?!

**Ziggy**: Well, that's... hey, who are you?

**Robbie**: Just call me "Professor."

**Stephanie**: Professor?

**Robbie**: Yeah, you know. A knowledge-bringer. (_blank looks_) An oracle of wisdom. (_more blank looks_) A _**teacher!!!** _(_echoes_)

**Stephanie**: Oh, a teacher! Great! Maybe you can help me with this schoolwork!

**Robbie**: Or maybe _you_ can come to my school! Come on, we've got more kids to teach!

(_Fast montage of Stephanie, Ziggy and Robbie gathering up the other kids. They end up in a building that looks like a traditional one-room schoolhouse._)

**Robbie**: School is in session!

**Kids**: (_assorted cheering_)

**Robbie**: (_cringes_) What are you doing?!

**Stephanie**: Cheering!

**Robbie**: Stop it! You do not cheer in school!

**Ziggy**: What do you do in school?

**Stingy**: Well, whatever it is, it's mine!

**Robbie**: The first rule is --- no talking unless I say so!

(_The kids seem to consider this rule._)

**Ziggy**: But what if I have to go the bathro...

**Robbie**: _No talking!!! _(_echoes_) Unless. I. say. so. Now, the second rule is --- the teacher is always right. Never wrong.

**Kids**: (_questioningly_) Always right, never wrong?  
**Robbie**: Never! And now, class! It's time to learn your ABCs!

**Kids**: Ya'ay!

**Robbie**: You ready? 'Cause here it comes (_singing_) A --- Always do nothing!

**Stephanie**: What?!

**Robbie**: B --- Be lazy!

**Kids**: No way!

**Robbie**: C --- Cake is good for you!

**Ziggy**: Well, he may have a point...

**Robbie**: (_singing over Ziggy_) It's the ABCs, just do as you please --- as long as what you do is nothing.

**Kids**: Do nothing?

**Robbie**: Its the ABCs, simple as 123s. 1 --- Do nothing at all.

**Pixel**: Hey! I thought we were learning the alphabet, not numbers!

**Robbie**: 2 --- Lazy is the way to go. (_quickly, before the kids can sing anything else_) 3 --- eat cake all day!

**Ziggy**: All day?!

**Robbie**: And those are your lessons for school! (_song ends_

**Ziggy**: I could get to like these rules!

**Stephanie**: (_sighs_)

**Robbie**: Oh, and there is one other very important rule. You kids must stop listening to and talking to Sportakook, **_forever!!!_**

**Stephanie**: Sportawho?

**Robbie**: Sportakook!

**Stephanie**: Oh, you mean Sportacus!

**Robbie**: Whoever.

**Pixel**: But why?

**Robbie**: (_as himself_) Because I said so! (_echoes_) (_as Robbie_) Now listen, kids. This Sportakook ---

**Stephanie**: Sportacus!

**Robbie**: (_as himself_) Whoever! (_as Robbie_) This Sportakook is a bad influence. See, see this here --- (H_e pulls out a giant book he scribbled all over the pages on himself --- "The Big Book of Bad Things._") ---- "flipping and jumping and running are the four worst things you can do." (_The kids lean in for a closer look at the book, but he shuts it with a bang_.)

**Trixie**: (_counting on her fingers_) One, two... hey, that's only three things!

**Robbie**: Doesn't matter! It says the best thing you can do is just. not. talk. to. him. Just be silent! And don't listen, either! Hey, don't even look!

(_Scene change. Mayor Meanswell is at home, puttering around. Seeing as he hardly ever gets around to any real mayoring, this is hardly surprising._)

**Mayor Meanswell**: Hmm, I wonder the kids are up to. (_scratches his head_) Ah well, I'm sure they're having fun. (_He hears a knock at the door._)

**Bessie Busybody**: Milford?! Oh, Milford?!

**Meanswell**: (_rushes to the door_) Coming, Miss Busybody! (_He opens the door, where Busybody is standing, looking a bit impatient._)

**Bessie**: Oh, Milford! Where have you been? We've only got a half-hour until the dance class!

**Meanswell**: Dance class?

**Bessie**: You remember, the new one I told you about! We're going ot learn all kinds of fun dances! But not if we're late!

**Meanswell**: No, certainly not. I-I mean, yes, Miss Busybody! Well, they say that's it good to learn new things. Let me get my dancing shoes, just a moment!

(_Scene change. The kids have been trying their best to comply with the ridiculous rules of "Robbie," but are quickly becoming restless. Sensing this, Robbie tries to get their attention, at least for a bit._)

**Robbie**: (_rings bell_) Recess! Time for you kids to stay inside --- and do nothing!

**Stephanie**: I don't want to! It's boring.

**Robbie**: Listen, little girl. Listen to your teacher. Fresh air is bad for you. See, it says so right here. (_He pulls out "The Book of Bad Things" and quickly points to something scribbled on the page, then snatches it away._)

**Stephanie**: I was reading that!

**Robbie**: (_mocking_) I was reading that! I was reading that! (_Stephanie sneers at him, but he acts unimpressed._) Sorry. The teacher is always right. Now, I want you to sit, and do nothing.

**Stephanie**: (_sighs_) Oh, all right... (_She sits down and tries to do nothing at all, but not before muttering a few remarks about the advisability of following the advice of authors who can't even count properly under her breath. However, she quickly becomes bored. She gets up and starts dancing._)

**Robbie**: And no dancing!

**Stephanie**: (_does a final, defiant pirouette and then sits down_)

**Pixel**: I wanna play computer games!

**Robbie**: Computer games... are okay! Yeah, computer games, video games, whatever. (_He walks over to an advanced looking computer that looks completely out of place in this folksy one-room schoolhouse and switches it on._)

**Kids**: (_except Stephanie_) Yeah, all right!

**Robbie**: Well, have fun, kiddies! (_He leaves the classroom for his underground lair. None of the other students except Stephanie even seem to have realized he's left._)

**Stephanie**: Guys? Guys?

(_Slam scene cut. We're still in the classroom, but now things have gotten a bit out control. The kids are actually running around and making a mess --- not actually what Robbie Rotten had hoped --- but kids will be kids. The situation is getting a bit dangerous._)

**Sportacus**: (_on his airship hearing his crystal beep_) Someone's in trouble! I have to help!

(_Scene change. Sportacus enters the classroom, where Pixel is just about slip on a banana peel. Sportacus swoops in and saves him. Pixel is startled and nearly trips anyway, but Sportacus keeps him from falling._)

**Sportacus**: That was close! You okay, Pixel?

**Pixel**: Oh, uh --- yeah... (_stops suddenly and diverts his eyes_)

**Sportacus**: Pixel?

**Pixel**: (_looks pained, but continues to ignore Sportacus_)

**Sportacus**: Hmm, that's strange. (_He wants to inquire further, but he's not the type to pry, so he drops the matter and leaves._)

**Robbie**: (_who is now spying on the classroom from his lair_) This is working out better than I ever hoped! Now for phase two!

(_Scene change. Robbie decides to end recess, as he wants to move forward with plot --- his evil plot, that is. Phase two is now in effect._)

**Robbie**: Recess over! Class is back in session.

**Kids**: (_except Stephanie_) Ahh! (_They grumble in disappointment._)

**Robbie**: All right, class! Today you're going to learn more about a very important subject --- Sportakook!!!

**Ziggy**: You already told us about him. And it's Sporta---

**Robbie**: (_winces_) I know! Don't say it! Don't talk! All right, listen. (_He babbles on with an elaborate lesson outlining the "evils" of Sportacus, or Sportakook, as the case may be. Close in on Stephanie as the rambling lecture continues..._)

**Stephanie**: I just can't believe this...

(_Cut to airship, where Sportacus is pacing about._)

**Sportacus**: I wonder what's gotten into the kids. Wasn't that a classroom they were in? It's summer --- I don't remember any school being in session. Hmm... oh well. Time for me to learn a new sport. Maybe I'll try distance swimming! Nice day for it (_He imitates a complicated swimstroke._)

(_Back in the classroom. The kids are all out of control again, chattering really noisily. Robbie can't believe the chaos and covers his ears, but it's not working. He gets up from his desk and raps on the blackboard. Silence falls._)

**Robbie**: Okay, new rule! No talking, at all!

**Stephanie**: What?! That's not fair!

**Robbie**: The teacher is always right! Now I want you to sit silently and do nothing!

**Ziggy**: (_muttering_) This is the worst...

**Robbie**: And no muttering!

(_A bit later on, the kids are all sitting bored, twiddling their thumbs, when suddenly a bee flies into the classroom. Pandemonium erupts. Robbie shouts for quiet, but it's no good. On the airship, Sportacus notices his crystal beeping._)

**Sportacus**: Someone's in trouble!

(_Sportacus uses his skychaser to fly to the classroom and then darts in. Seeing the panic, he spots the bee. He calls for a net from the skychaser and captures the bee. He takes it outside a fair ways away, releases it, and returns to the classroom._)

**Sportacus**: Everybody okay?!

**Robbie**: Can't you read?! (_He raps the blackboard with a pointer, indicating a message that says "No talking."_)

**Sportacus**: Oh! (_He makes a motion to zip his lips and starts trying to communicate using hand gestures._)

**Robbie**: And no signing either! Get out!

(_Sportacus exits, shrugging his shoulders._)

**Stephanie**: (_talking to herself, but quietly_) This stinks! Sportacus is one of my best friends. I don't like not talking to him. It's so boring in this class. I may not be able to talk, listen, or look, but I can still write. (_She pulls out a piece of paper and begins dictating a letter out loud._) Dear Sportacus... (_Stephanie finishes her letter. Not being able to leave the classroom to send it, she instead folds it as a paper airplane and shoots it out the window that the bee came in, which nobody thought to close in the chaos._)

(_Airship. Sportacus is there at the helm. He receives her letter._)

**Sportacus**: I've got mail! It's from Stephanie! I'd better open it! (_opens and begins reading letter..._)

Dear Sportacus,

Sorry for how we've been treating you lately.

(_stops reading_) Oh, Stephanie... (_continues reading_)

Something very strange is going on in LazyTown. We have this weird new teacher and he's really mean.

(_stops reading_) Well, he certainly seemed a bit rude. This is serious... (_continues reading_)

He won't let us do anything except sit around doing nothing and he doesn't even teach us anything. Sportacus, isn't there anything we can do?

Yours,

Stephanie

(_stops reading_) I'm on my way!

Later on...

**Stephanie**: Man, this is boring!

**Robbie**: No. Talking!

**Trixie**: We haven't learned anything yet --- why don't we just leave?

**Pixel**: Yeah! Why don't we?

**Robbie**: You can't leave!

**Ziggy**: I'm leaving! Anyone else leaving?

(_Everyone cheers their assent._)

**Robbie**: Nobody leaves this classroom unless I say so! (_He pulls out a remote control device and suddenly the door is locked tight and all the windows are slammed shut._)

**Pixel**: (_mutters_) Well, at least we won't have to worry about anymore bees...

**Robbie**: What was that?

**Pixel**: Oh, um, I said that I think you're the bee's knees.

(_Scene-change to outside the school. Sportacus arrives, but notices that all the doors and windows are locked tight. It's time for some creative thinking. He pulls around to the front door, does a flip off of his skychaser and knocks._)

**Sportacus**: Pizza delivery!

**Robbie**: I didn't order any pizza! Wait a second... what am I talking about? Pizza!!! I'll be right there!

(_Robbie runs to the door and swings it open in delight. This is all the opportunity Sportacus needs. Before Robbie can so much as blink, Sportacus zip-zap-zooms into the classroom._)

**Robbie**: You! Well, this is perfect! Because now you're trapped too! (_He slams the door tight and locked it._)

**Sportacus**: Ah, time to teach _you _something. If I'm locked in, you're locked in too.

**Stephanie**: Sportacus! I'm sorry. He told us, he said he was a teacher, but he just can't be...

**Sportacus**: Stephanie, it's okay. I got your letter, see? (_He shows it to her._) Time to close down this "school" for good!

(_Sportacus does a complicated series of moves designed to distract Robbie and then swipes the key. He holds it up for everyone to see._)

**Robbie**: What? But... how'd he know?!

**Sportacus**: And now --- a more open atmosphere for learning.

(_He hits the button, unlocking the door and opening all the windows with gusto. A stiff gust of wind blows in, resulting in the ridiculous wig that Robbie was wearing being blown off._)

**Stephanie**: A wig?! Hey, wait a second. (_She pulls off the fake beard that was the only thing between the kids and their growing suspicion that the person claiming to be a teachre was actually..._)

**Kids**: Robbie Rotten!

**Robbie**: You all get an F!

**Pixel**: Yeah! All right, Sportacus!

**Sportacus**: I give all of you an A+!

**Kids**: Ya'ay!

**Robbie**: (_growls_)

**Stephanie**:

Bing bang digga rigga dun

Funny words I sing when I am dancing (dancing)

Bing bang digga rigga dun

Silly words that can mean anything

Get on up, it's time to dance, yeah!

It's so much being up on your feet!

So we go up, up do the job

Twirl around and clap your hands together (together, together)

Down, down turn around

Having fun is what it's all about!

(_Robbie is back in his lair. He removes what little is left of his teacher outfit in disgust._)

**Robbie**: Teachers! Learning! Who needs them anyway? Oh, it's all so tiring. Think I'll take a --- (_Notices an apple lying on his couch. The apple has a note --- "An apple for the teacher. We know he's a softie at heart." - Stephanie _) Ugh! There's no escape!


End file.
